Review + Chapter 1 Excerpt + Giveaway: F*ck Love by Tarryn Fisher

Helena Conway has fallen in love.
Unwillingly. Unwittingly.
But not unprovoked.
Kit Isley is everything she’s not—unstructured, untethered,
and not even a little bit careful.
It could all be so beautiful … if he wasn’t dating her best friend.
Helena must defy her heart, do the right thing, and think of others.
Until she doesn’t.
F*ck Love was nothing like I was expecting yet it was everything I wanted. Having read Mud Vein and Marrow but not the Love Me With Lies series, F*ck Love was a whole new side of Tarryn's writing I had never experienced, yet it was still so her.
I know a book captured my heart and never released it when I sit and stare at my computer screen  to write a review and wait for the words to come but they never do, I had to try this 3 different times.

I don't usually identify with characters in books, I can relate in some aspects and sympathize, but it's rare occurrence when an author creates a character I feel as connected as I felt to Helena. I legit stopped and thought "Tarryn get out of my head!!!" several times as I was reading F*ck Love. 

I would love to tell you Helena is such a strong woman and that's what makes her amazing, but she's not... she's flawed and perfect at the same time, she's so human that I almost feel she's real, and I could very well bump into her walking down main street Port Townsend. 

Helena has a dream of a life that's not hers, a life that she never thought she wanted, a life she now wishes was true. The problem is that this life she fell in love with in a dream, is not with the man she's currently with, it's a man who's already taken, the man her best friend is in love with. 
But you know what they say "chicks before d*cks" right?... but does it really always work like that? When you really live by that unspoken rule, what do you do with your aching heart?

In the case of Helena, she ran.  

"I'm not brave enough to change with everyone watching me. I want to do it alone, I want it to be real"

She takes off to Port Townsend, Washington and the place is significant, but I will let you find out why when you read it. Reading about Helena's ferry trip from Seattle to the Olympic Peninsula was like being there with her, the same as the streets of downtown Port Townsend and Marrowstone Vineyards. Having been to all these places myself, reading about her exploring all them was like being transported back, down the to smell of the ocean and texture leaves on the ground. Tarryn's power of description was breathtaking, Washington is my home away from home and with each word I longed more and more to be back there. 

"You've come to the right place, not just Port Townsend, but Washington. It's God's country. Something about this place heals people." 

Helena goes in search of healing but also goes to find herself. She went to school for Accounting but turns out that her dream changed even that, she doesn't want a job in accounting anymore, she wants a job where she can be creative, were she can enjoy what she does and feel fulfilled. This is one of the reasons I love Helena, she may be a coward sometimes and run when things get complicated and stressing but she has passion, and sometimes passion is all one needs to make things happen. 

"You are very good at passion. And if you have enough passion, you can almost learn to do anything well." 

Though she's moved to Washington, Kit the man in her dream (not that man of her dreams) is very much present in her thoughts every day. You can truly appreciate her inner struggle between doing what's right, or at least perceived as the right thing to do, and doing what your heart really wants you to do.

"It never passes, and it never pauses. It's like a fist clutched around my heart squeezing all day long. You can distract a mind for a little bit, but when the heart and mind work together they're cruel."

It all felt so real. The pain was real. The disappointment was real. The fear was real. Whether you have or not experiences these struggles yourself you can still understand what Helena is going through, appreciate that life sometimes presents you with situations that are just plain out tough and complicated and sometimes they hurt so much. Facing choices where someone will always get hurt, no matter what you chose in the end, and that someone sometimes is you. 

"No one tells you that it hurts this much to be a grown-up, that people are so complicated they end up hurting each other to self preserve."

F*ck Love is a series of ups and downs, one minute you are laughing at Helena's endless Harry Potter references and witty personality and the next you feel this weight on your chest, because being in love and being loves by someone you can't have sometimes makes you feel like you can't breathe, like your heart can't possibly take that much pain.

F*ck Love is the kind of story that will stay with you long after you have turned the last page. You will fall in love with Kit, and you will fall in love with the Pacific Northwest and more than anything you will wish you could be a little bit like Helena, have a fraction of her passion, a tiny bit of her courage and vulnerability, and you too will wish you had a little corner in Port Townsend to escape to.

By far my favorite Tarryn book. You won't be able to put it down. 

Chapter One

“You are supposed to be with me.”
What words are these? They startle me, and at first I think I’ve heard him wrong. He’s leaning across the table while our significant others are twenty feet away, waiting in line for our food.
“You and me,” he says. “Not us and them.”
I blink at him before I realize he’s making a joke. I laugh and go back to looking at my magazine. Actually, it’s not really a magazine. It’s a math journal, because I’m super cool like that.
“Helena…” I don’t look up right away. I’m afraid to. If I look up and see that he’s not joking, everything will change.
“Helena.” He reaches out and touches my hand. I jump, pull back. My chair makes a horrid scraping sound, and Neil looks over. I pretend that I dropped something and reach under the table. Under the table are our shoes and legs. There is a blue crayon lying at my feet; I pick it up and resurface.
Neil is at the front of the line ordering our food, and my best friend’s boyfriend is waiting for my response, his eyes heavy with burden.
“Are you drunk?” I hiss. “What the fuck?”
“No,” he says. Though he doesn’t look so sure. For the first time, I notice the scruff on his face. The skin around his eyes is sallow. He’s going through something, maybe? Life is being bullshit.
“If this is a joke, you’re making me really uncomfortable,” I tell him. “Della is right there. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I only have ten minutes, Helena.” His eyes move to the blue crayon, which is resting between our hands.
“Ten minutes for what? You’re sweating,” I say. “Did you take something, are you on the crack?” What type of drugs make you sweat like that? Crack? Heroine?
I want Neil and Della to come back. I want everything to go back to normal. I spin around to see where they are.
“Stop saying my name like that.” My voice shakes. I make to stand up, but he grabs the crayon, then my hand.
“I don’t have much time. Let me show you.”
He’s sitting very still, but his eyes remind me of a cornered animal: frightened, panicked, bright. I’ve never seen that look on his face, but since Della’s only been dating him for a few months, it’s a moot point. I don’t really know this guy. He could be a druggie for all I know. He turns my hand over so it’s palm up, and I let him. I don’t know why, but I do.
He places the crayon in my palm and closes my fist around it.
“You have to say it out loud,” he says. “Show me, Kit.”
“Say it, Helena. Please. I’m afraid of what will happen if you don’t.”
Because he looks so afraid, I say it.
“Show me, Kit.” And then, “Should I know what this is?”  
“No one should,” he says. And then everything goes black.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | B&N | iTunes | KOBO
 Tarryn Fisher is a New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Author of eight  novels.  Her newest novel, F*ck Love, released on New Year’s Eve, 2015  and she is currently working on the third installment of Never Never. She is the co-founder of Clothed Caption, a fashion blog she runs with her friend, Madison Seidler. Tarryn resides in the Seattle area with her family. She loves rainy days, Coke, and thinks Instagram is the new Facebook.  Tarryn is represented by Amy Tannenbaum of the Jane Rotrosen Agency.
F*ck Love by Tarryn Fisher Blog Tour


  1. Great blog, thanks for the chance at the giveaway :)

  2. I really want to read this book now...

  3. I really want to read this book now...

  4. Omg thanks soo much for giving me a chance to get these books.I'd love to read 'em .

  5. Omg thanks soo much for giving me a chance to get these books.I'd love to read 'em .

  6. Not entering giveaway. Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your review. I agree with much of what you said I just don't write of express myself as well in my reviews.


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